She is loved

Today I headed downtown Toronto with my son as we both had appointments with our favourite doctor... "Doctor D". He's an awesome doctor... a man with compassion, personality, honesty and brains. Anyway, as we were putting our quarters in the parking machine to get our one hour parking voucher, a worn out, tired scruffy woman came to me and asked for money so she could take the T.T.C. (the Toronto streetcar). My initial thought was that she was looking for money for drugs or alcohol so I was kind yet firm sharing I had only enough money for parking. The woman looked at me with such lost eyes, eyes that didn't smile or dance. She continued talking in a quiet shallow voice that she needed to get to a shelter where she could eat, shower and sleep. My heart was tugging as I didn't have any more change, but I did have a couple of five dollar bills. I continued to share my dilemma with her - and she continued to look at me waiting for something more. It is then that she said, standing ever so still and humble, the words "no one loves me".

My heart sank at her words, being truly caught off guard. Joseph was watching the scene trying to sum it up as I continued to share with the woman that I didn't have any money to help. I politely moved ahead and went inside the doctor's office....all while she continued to watch me inside through the big front window. Just standing still, just staring, unlike any other person before who has asked me for money on the street. She didn't take her eyes off of me for a second. I didn't take my attention and thoughts away from her. I asked the doctor's secretary if she had seen this woman before as I shared the story and my wondering about giving her money. The secretary suggested that Joseph go to the local convenience store and buy her a streetcar ticket. Good idea, my son who had a gentle and kind heart went and bought two tickets, approached her directly himself and handed them to her. She put the tickets in her pocket however, she didn't leave...she continued looking directly at me with her lost blue eyes.

I eventually went back outside and gently shared that she had the tickets she needed to go to the shelter and that it would be o.k. she could go ahead.

I couldn't get thoughts of her out of my head most of the day. Her eyes were almost haunting. Do you know what.... I blew it today. I shared my money with her but what I didn't do was share that she was loved. I can't even remember what I said to her about being loved, but what I do know is I didn't share God's love with her. The love that she can have so freely and yet doesn't know. The unconditional love. I missed an opportunity because I was humanly trying to find a way to do something for her. Tonight as I get ready for bed I can't help but wonder where this beautiful creature is. I can't help but wonder if she's o.k. I can't help but wonder if her head is lying on a pillow gently crying. I pray the next person she speaks to will be the one who knows Jesus and be the one to take the opportunity to ensure she knows God loves her?

I am going to call her Lilly because she was a delicate lady, standing in a light green dress with blonde hair hanging down, her head slightly tilted as she watched me. I know Lilly could be anything but who she represented herself to me this morning, but I choose to believe she's the lost soul she showed me this morning - a soul desperately needing to know the love of Jesus. Needing to cling to the hope and love that He gives each one of us. I pray that when Lilly lays her head down tonight that somehow she will feel prayers and God's love.

Night....
Cheri